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After a breakupyou may be tempted to try to be friends with your ex. You still care about this person, after all.

And remaining pals may seem like the mature, evolved thing to. Even if being friends is in the cards for you and your ex newsflash: Boyfreindauthor of the book Getting Past Your Breakup.

Her general recommendation is to wait at least six months before thinking about a friendship, though the amount of time may vary depending on the couple, the seriousness of the prior relationship and how it hanging out with your ex boyfriend. Even after the most amicable breakup, everyone boygriend time to work through the split and all their feelings.

Some people may stay friends with all of their old flamesand that can be a great thing for. Note that in some cases, particularly if the relationship was abusive or otherwise toxictrying to be friends could be damaging or even dangerous.

We asked therapists to share the signs that you should probably hold off for. You need to give yourself ample time and space to mourn the end of the relationship.

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That means letting yourself feel your emotions — sadness, frustration, rejection, resentment or some combination thereof — rather than bottling them up. A good test, deVos said, is to imagine sitting with your ex at a coffee shop and haning a notification pop up on their phone that says they have a new match on a dating hanging out with your ex boyfriend.

Think about how that would make you feel: Hanglng you be indifferent? Maybe irate? Honestly ask yourself why you want to be friends with your ex.

In the back of your mind, are you holding out hope that you two might reconcile? We set up our ex to disappoint us, and we set ourselves up to be angry, hurt or disappointed should our expectations not pan.

Instead, revisit an old hobby blyfriend, make plans with loved ones or volunteer with an organization you care about to keep you feeling connected. News Politics Entertainment Communities.

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Skip to Article. Elliott, author of "Getting Past Your Breakup".

Instead, focus your efforts on processing any unresolved feelings you may still. The thought of your ex dating someone else sends you into a tailspin.

Westend61 via Getty Images. Plus, fixating on your ex might be holding you back from meeting someone new.

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