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A lot of men want women to be more physically active in bed -- starting with the hands.

Ass-grabbing if you can reach. When I get closer to her she'll wrap her arms around my back and clench.

Makes me feel good and helps me think that I'm doing something right. Dawn Michael, clinical sexologist and author of Intimacy Guidebook for Couples.

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He feels porn is actually poisoning sexual relationships. But talking hoq fantasies -- without necessarily acting on them -- can still be helpful. Men want to be intimate with you -- and to ask for things -- without feeling judged or criticized.

Be open and loving. And if you want him to do something differently, Solin suggests instead of saying, "You never And DON'T take it personally if he loses his erection.

This is so important! Marty Klein, author of Sexual Intelligence: What a lot of people want from sex is to feel youthful, graceful, manly, normal, adequate, or competent.

You can still be equals. Michael says that despite the popularity of Fifty Shadesshe sees a very different trend among men.

More in a nurturing way. It's rarely talked about, but they want to be nurtured sexually. It's sex as caretaking: Women forget that men are emotional and sex is a huge expression of intimacy.

This is another one we hear a lot: Men want you to feel more comfortable with your body. But what if that's how you really feel?

Practice acting as-if. Tell yourself you're hot stuff the way you are.

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More from The Stir: Here's the key to doing this right: You can learn a lot about what turns you on through sex. Men don't want to be solely responsible for your pleasure.

You need to do your own homework. Don't make him fumble on his. What does that mean, exactly? And yes, they all want BJs.

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But you know that. What we got instead was way, way more intriguing -- and will be good news for women.

Share Tweet Pin. Take Responsibility for Your Pleasure 9.